Are you settling for ordinary?
It was an ordinary Sunday evening. Procrastinating on getting myself ready for the next day because I knew what it would bring. What every other Monday brought. A race to catch up on emails and a swinging door of employee complaints with a client on the line waiting to share their feedback too. Evening stress and anxiety was part of an ordinary, typical Sunday for me as an operations leader, fighting the Sunday scaries.
I showed up on Monday just before 9 am. Put lunch in the fridge, walked to my corner office, put my coffee down, took off my jacket, wrapped it over my chair, sat, and sighed. And then it begins.
The phone calls, emails, texts, and door entries don’t stop for the next eight hours (on a good day). I’d handle each fire as it came to me and put it out with skill and, sometimes, grace. If I had a band, Performing Under Pressure would be the group’s name and I’d be the lead singer. But backstage at home would be a different story. It didn’t shut off. There were more calls, emails, and texts to answer. But more frustratingly, there would be the voice in my head telling me I couldn’t continue like this. At home, I was performing to an audience of none as the solo group Breaking Under Pressure. This was my life, every day for years.
Can you relate to any part of that?
I’ve been speaking to business leaders daily for over 15 years. What I just described is ordinary.
This is many, if not most, leaders’ experience. This is the ordinary world.
If this is you, you need to ask yourself, do you want to be ordinary? Is there something gnawing at you telling you it’s possible to have more and it’s possible to get your organization to operate more efficiently — without relying on you as the center of its universe?
Do you want to see your company realize its full potential? I know I did, and that feeling stayed with me for years. Until I made a commitment. Not just to the people I worked for and with, I made a commitment to myself to accept full responsibility and to be the change I wanted to see in my workplace, in my community, and in the world.
I knew I was doing something I loved, and I wanted it to be FUN!! Shouldn’t we be able to have fun, even at work?!
The answer is a resounding YES. You deserve to have everything you want and dream about. Including having fun at work!
Here’s the thing. No one is coming to save you. No amount of hiring the “perfect person,” having the “perfect morning routine,” finding work life “balance” will change the way you feel. There’s no one out there who can save you from you, except you. Not your spouse, not your business partner, executive coach, consultants, business coach, not even me or this blog.
This should feel like the hardest truth AND the most liberating thing at the same time. Feeling free yet? Yeah, I didn’t either for a long time.
I wanted someone to come to my rescue and teach me how to be a great leader. I (still) read all the books, listen to all the podcast interviews, have my own coaches and follow all the gurus on leadership. But not because I’m looking for the answers anymore. It’s because I will still need the reminder of THE answer — the truth lies within you. Within me. Within each of us. The truth is our internal guidance system.
The ordinary world will tell you to buy this program, to watch this course, to attend this conference or school — to hire someone like me to teach your leadership team how to be leaders so that you can be free.
I don’t want to live in the ordinary world, and perhaps there’s a whisper in you that tugs at your sleeve and tells you you don’t want to be ordinary either. Or maybe… it’s not a whisper or a tug; it’s a lion’s roar and a slap across the face. However big or small that voice is, don’t ignore it. It’s there for a reason. You have to listen because it’s not going away.
Everything you want starts and stops with you.
What I’ve discovered through countless evolutions on my own journey and witnessing and experiencing the ups and downs of hundreds of other leaders is this…
Leadership requires clarity and self-ownership.
That’s it. Not strategy, not tactics, not the skillful management of personalities.
Self-leadership. That’s it. It’s all it ever is. It’s truly all it’s ever about.
As leaders, we have one key requirement: know where you’re going so others know if they want to follow you.
If you don’t know where you’re going, those that follow you will blindly move toward any place where the conditions are favorable. Without the clarity and aligned direction coming from you, you’re essentially telling them that any port they land in is acceptable. Except it won’t be. You won’t be happy and despite your best efforts, you’re not fooling anyone.
You’ll feel torn inside, like something is missing. Like what you truly want eludes you. This feeling will continue to pop up over and over again to remind you that you have a dream. And if you’re really quiet you also know you believe in yourself and your abilities to realize this dream. Right?
Right.
If there’s a gap — big or small — there is an opportunity for YOU to change it. You have all the power you need to change the direction of your organization and your life. That is, IF you want to come out of the ordinary world and truly achieve what you want to achieve while feeling fulfilled in the process.
The next nine posts will help you move out from the ordinary world to answer the call to adventure. They’ll tell you what you might expect when you make the decision to become your own hero. They’ll introduce you to your mentor, help you cross the threshold from where you’re at today to get you to the next stage in leadership and life. They’ll help you predict where you’ll be faced with tests and challenges, and how to recognize allies. Think of these blogs as guideposts pointing you to your ultimate reward — taking complete ownership of your life and your business AND having fun in the process! If you’re ready to move out of the ordinary world and listen to that call, keep reading!
If you think you might be living in the ordinary world, and you want to take the first step to move out of it, do one small thing now. Take action.
Take Action: Take a quiet moment and ask yourself where your organization is at today and where you’d like it to be. Write it down. Or record a memo on your phone. Do this exercise, and be honest. This self-assessment is the first step out of the ordinary world.