Are you refusing the most important call of your life?
In the previous post, I invited you to answer the call to adventure by imagining yourself five years from now when your business is exactly where you want it to be. I asked you to think of yourself as the hero of your own story who made it happen. This type of reflection is the start on the journey to becoming the best version of you. It will help you strengthen the relationship with yourself, honoring your personal desires and leading yourself to become the leader you want to see in your organization, in your life, and in the world. This is answering the call.
Sounds simple, right?
For over 15 years as a person in leadership working alongside other leaders, I’ve had an obsession with figuring out what makes a leader great. How to spot great leaders, how to develop them, and how to become one.
Here’s my observation…
Great leaders do what they say they are going to do. What they say they are going to do aligns with what they genuinely desire and honors what’s in the best interest of the group as a whole. They take directed action towards their goals and invite others to do the same. They are unwavering, fair, and committed to leading with integrity. They are humble and don’t compromise their vision.
Are you all of those things? Some of those things?
Or, some of those things some of the time? Me too.
As a teacher of leadership principles, I’ve felt the need to dive deep into the reasons why people in positions of leadership (including myself) don’t always operate like great leaders do. Why sometimes they don’t do what they say they are going to do. Or why what they say they are going to do doesn’t always align with what they genuinely want to do. Why they sometimes put the best interest of the group in front of their own best interests, and why one person’s interests might get preferential treatment over their own and the group’s. Why people in leadership sometimes fall short in taking directed action toward their goals, why they struggle with getting people to commit to following through on their own commitments, and why at times they waver or manage inequitably. I’ve also questioned why these people sometimes operate out of integrity with themselves — listening more to others and less to themselves — or become too egotistical.
This is what I’ve concluded…
When most people commit to becoming great leaders, they operate from a place of wanting to be the best for others. When we start the journey that way, we take in so much information from the business itself and from business partners, spouses, colleagues, employees, parents, friends, books, thought leaders, peer groups, coaches, therapists, vendors, clients, sports greats, and world leaders of current and past, and we lose touch with our internal navigation system.
As the hero character in the life movie in which you star, it’s up to you to quiet those voices so that the whisper of something even better can make its way to the stage. Listening to your OWN voice is how you begin to lead yourself.
Listening to your own voice, even when you’re really, really intentional is, surprisingly, not easy.
This is why most people live in the ordinary world, ruled by external forces.
How do you know if you’re in the ordinary world?
Listen for these themes, when you find yourself saying things like…
“Nothing ever gets done right. I might as well do it myself.”
“I just need someone to solve the problem.”
“I don’t have time.”
“It’s all too much.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”
“No one is taking accountability.”
“I need a vacation.”
“My spouse wants me home more, so I can’t work like I used to.”
(Insert other gripes here.)
Look for these themes, when you find yourself doing things like…
Taking a vacation to run away from your problems.
Overspending/eating/exercising/drinking/sleeping etc.
Procrastinating on the things you know you need to get done.
Isolating yourself from your business, spouse, friends, family, etc.
Giving special treatment to someone just to make things easier.
Staying home more with the family and allowing some things to slip.
Not having fun anymore.
(Insert other time-wasting or energy-draining activities here.)
Why do we do this to ourselves?
It’s all thanks to fear.
Maybe you’ve heard that before?
What if you don’t feel fearful? Or maybe you’re all consumed with fear and can’t move past it? Either way, it’s up to us to ask ourselves more questions or to work with someone who can help guide us in finding the right questions to answer.
If you are consumed with frustration for why you’re not yet where you want to be, or you already know you’ve been refusing the call, I invite you to take action. Dig a little deeper to answer the questions that will help uncover the root of the fears.
Take Action: So far, you’ve written about your future five years from now. You wrote about the main character, the hero of your story. Now it’s time to reflect on the reasons why this character might not be successful in completing their mission. What are all the reasons they could fail? List them out. Then, decide which ones you want to write into your script, and what the impact to the story is. Think of the worst case scenario, and write it in. Here are some examples: The character doesn’t have enough money, so she eventually has to close her business. She can’t find the right person who sees her vision, so she has to do everything herself, which limits her capacity and keeps her stuck where she is. Her employees resent her success and sabotage her. Her husband wants to limit how much she works and her kids want her to be home more, so the business can never reach its full potential. Keep writing (or recording) until you can’t come up with any other reasons why the hero of this story won’t succeed.